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Not Everyone Likes Me And I’m OK With That

Wednesday, December 6, 2017
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When I was younger I thought I had the kind of personality that everyone could mesh well with. I didn’t think that I provided any reason for anyone to dislike me. If the moment ever came where I discovered that someone didn't have a taste for my personality, I tried to dissect what exactly is it that I did wrong.

Naturally, I’m an easy going person. I don’t like drama and I always greet people with a smile. I live by treat others the way you want to be treated, and I do my best to be polite even when I don’t want to be. So I felt for anyone that wouldn’t want to be around me, I had to kill them with kindness. I had to prove to them that I wasn't this bad person.

It’s as if I was on a mission to be a people pleaser. How can you not like me? I mean...I'm  nice, right?

But the older I got the more I've learned that there will always be something that doesn’t sit well with someone. The way someone smiles. The way someone chews. Or even just the sound of someone’s voice.

A few months ago, I went out for brunch with an old friend. She also invited a good friend of hers. I had met this friend a couple of times before. Our exchanges were always pretty brief, but pleasant nonetheless (at least I thought so).

Brunch went by smoothly. We all laughed and had a great time catching up. However, just as we were about to pay our bill and go our separate ways her friend says, “You know I didn’t like you at first, but I’m glad I stuck around to get to know you.”

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Wait a minute.

My mind immediately began to think about what did I possibly say or do within our small conversation that made her write me off. Was my voice annoying? Did I insult her somehow? So I asked why she didn't like me.

She didn't have a sound reason. She simply responded that it was the way I said something. She couldn't remember in detail what it was I said. So, I kept replaying our exchanges in my mind. I thought back to one instance where maybe she thought I was being rude. It takes sometime for me to get comfortable with new people, so maybe that did it. That has to be it.

So I said, "Sometimes I can be weird when meeting new people. I don't mean to be rude. Just takes a second to warm up."

I sat back in my seat smiling, thinking that I finally had closure. I remember feeling better that I cleared that up. But she quickly busted my bubble to say, "No. It wasn't that. It was just something. But you've really matured since then."

What the hell, man. OK. She didn’t like me at first. After I thought about her response I was able to say, so what? I was being myself. I had a great time, and at the end of the day she admitted that I grew on her.

But why did it bother me at first? I guess it’s the simple thought of knowing that I did something that didn’t sit well with her.

Truthfully, that is life. You will always do something that doesn’t sit well with someone whether you know it or not. I’m sure she isn’t the first person that didn’t like me initially. Hell, I’ve felt that way about some of my closest friends.

And even though I wanted to be in my feelings after that exchange, I learned to appreciate her honesty. It taught me that I am who I am and not everyone will like it. I'm OK with that. 

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